Monday, August 10, 2015

Turning 40: the sh*t has hit the fan!

This is a subject I keep trying to figure out how to write about it but there are so many aspects to it, I didn't know where to begin. I may attempt different stages in different blogs because one would be WAY TOO LONG.
When a friend told me that turning 40 is no big deal, that we were like a bottle of wine, the older the year the better. Now I know about wine, and there are various kinds that the older they become, the more rancid the flavor. Ugh.
Generally, I am a positive person (half full) but this 40 crap took me on a tail spin. It's either an epiphany or drowning in the ninth circle of Dante's inferno.
First and foremost, you wake up. I mean really wake up. For me, I knew exactly what I wanted, who I was, and my self confidence was sound. There was no wishy washy anything. If you offer me grapefruit in the morning, I will tell you I can't eat it. That's it. Stop telling me how organic the fruit it and that it hails from the soils of central Florida. I'm NOT GOING TO EAT IT.
Clearly I know what I like and dislike. You also see others as being relatively ignorant aka stupid. However, you are more tolerant and realize that they haven't lived that many lives and need to continue to learn. On the contrary, I'm prehistoric when it comes to that so I'm not going to sit and hang with you. Maybe pre-40 I may have attempted to explain things to you OVER and OVER again thinking you would have insight but that's over now. NEXT.

Here you are, 40, you know who you are and guess what you find out about yourself? No, not that you are surrounding infinitesimally by ignorant people, but that you will not lose the weight you gained! That's right. You can't just go take your dog on a brisk walk or skip that pizza slice. OH NO. Whatever weight you gain it sticks.

If you want to look good in a bathing suit, well you have to change your diet and exercise routine. COMPLETELY. Diet has to change because you will become bloated like a puffer fish when you eat carbs and certain foods. Then certain foods like fried delicious chicken or bacon will give you a horrible upset acid running down your intestinal tract. Dairy..ha! Forget about heavy creamed soups or dips, because you will have to buy stock on antacids. Everyone is a bit different but not by much. You are screwed. Best diet....honestly, a vegan one (lots of fruits, vegetables) and the occasional animal protein. Sorry. I'm not lying. [Sigh]

Workout! I'm at the point that I walk my dog briskly almost every day (maybe about 20 min). I swim 25 laps at the gym pool twice a week and I do yoga once a week. I thought that would be enough but it only maintains your weight, health and firmness. But weight loss? Enter Shawn T. Yep, I started the T25 workout. 25 minutes of uncontrollable sweat dripping down from unknown places. Sadly, its working. Cardio is a must after 40. You can't get away with not doing it, if you do, weight gain is ominous.

I'll stop now...there's more later-- relationships, family, sex, drugs, etc.

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