Monday, November 23, 2015

Turning 40: Health

Yoga, mindfulness, meditation, vegan, vegetarian, essential oils, Buddhism, pot, organic anything, alcohol, spiritualism, teas, mammograms, zumba, hormonal imbalance, anti-aging creams...sound familiar. It's great to reach this decade.
God help me. If I could talk to that burger eating, pound cake/ice cream before sleep girl, I would tell her to start then. Why? That way I can have a splurge here and there and not risk some intestinal back up. For example, I had some lovely Rioja last night and I decided to try some Debowa vodka with cranberry juice. Just one. Got home at 5ish and passed out until 8:30pm. It's the Rohypnol of vodkas. I was out. I ended up smearing frankincense oils, swallowing a motrin, eating a grilled cheese sandwich to shake off the hang over effects. OMG.

As I type this, I'm drinking Sapporo Light beer because I'm trying  to avoid bloating but I love beer so....oh yes, bloating, weight gain, and ah, feeling perimenopausal. SO MUCH FUN.

Apparel is different too. I can't get away with low riders...I'm tired of pulling my jeans up! I want comfort but to look sexy. Not an easy combo. Your skin changes too. Makeup doesn't look the same any more so you have to switch to more flattering ahem colors (neutral) to look youthful.

Cardio, cardio, cardio. You can NEVER stop the cardio. It keeps you level headed and feeling good. Coffee alone doesn't do it for the energy, it's cardio and progesterone creams. That's right. I have to smear that stuff on me so I can stop passing out every now and then or to avoid night sweats.

The first sign of my body changing was when I sat cross legged with my son on the floor. Well, I attempted to get up. It felt like my knees decided to nap and was not waking up any time soon. That has never happened to me. NEVER. My entire life was about to change physically and I realized that everything I read but never practiced was about to play some karma.

Don't think twice, just enroll at your nearest gym, get medically violated, sniff therapeutic grade essential oils, partake in monthly facials, and attend as many paint/wine nights as often as you please. You should be fine.

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